“I’ll do everything for a season”, his words pound inside my chest as I put another layer on. The temperature has dropped and the once unbearable days are now heavenly. In these days, I ache for the homeland more than ever, for the familiarity I hold dear. It reminds me of where I came from and how I brought who I am to another place. The seasons are changing and I am understanding that once again I must change. The mindset of chasing summer has come to a close and I embrace campfires and flannel.
With this exterior change, like lungs filling with cold air once again, I feel a new direction in my future. Call it premonition or intuition, but as soon as I get an idea, the wheels are set in motion and I will obsess over fulfilling it. Often times it is not immediate, but rather a gradual change into the full manifestation of all I’ve seen. Nearly 10 years ago, I passed on an opportunity to move to Nashville, but that spark never burnt out. Four years ago I was offered opportunity once again and though immediately eager and ready, it took me about 9 months to make the move to middle Tennessee. When I have a breakthrough, a revelation of the “next step”, everything shifts and I move my intentions to that goal. Most of the time, it’s simply learning to wait, to understand that I will not receive instant gratification for my changes. It’s often a painful process of breaking old habits and mindsets, but I know that ultimately it will lead me to place of growth and maturity, so that’s what I do.
(A season is coming to a close and as I understand what that actually means, I will press into the unknown in search of truth.)
This is for the ones like me, who expect that the worst is yet to come, that current darkness will never allow future light. This is for the ones like me that believe since all romantic relationships have “failed”, all will probably “fail”. This is for the ones like me, who feel trapped in a stronghold of addiction, situations and circumstances, losing all hope of freedom.
(This and all things like this are false.)
Every situation, no matter how bleak and barren, has the potential to cultivate us into better versions of ourselves, versions that understand and can impart our knowledge and wisdom to others. My friends, hold fast hope as these seasons shift and we press into our souls, searching once again.