A day planned, a day abandoned.
I found my ears soaking up the tunes of Regina Spektor this afternoon; tunes that can only make you smile and dream of summer car rides with no need for A/C, only the windows down and your arms as airplane wings. Im often very distracted when I try to focus, which is entirely counter productive…most of the time. As I stared unfocused at the blank journal page, I glanced up to find a mirror above my desk, just in front of the drafty windows of my bedroom. There I was, suspended in a singular moment, just looking at my reflection. The line from mewithoutYou’s “Four Word Letter” danced through my head and I looked a bit deeper. “Look at your eyes, they’re small in size, but they’ve seen enormous things.”
Regaining gravity to my reality, I began to wonder and ponder the places life has taken me. There is vastness to the world above and beneath my feet that stirs a child like curiosity in my chest to explore and seek meaning in the world I can see and the world I can’t. There are moments where I feel like I just need to wander about and let my lungs breathe the air this earth holds, as the dirt compacts beneath my toes, but then there are times where I cannot wander anymore and I have to set a purpose before my eyes and my heart leads. This afternoon was filled with chasing certain thoughts and running from others, but in the end I heard this: “There is no need to wander any more.”
A new revelation? Not quite.
For now, I will slow down, look around and let the wonder of this world fill my soul. I hear so many people trying to find to spiritual peace by separating themselves from this world …from the world they live in and I must admit, there is a calmness that speaks when you distance yourself from the everyday, but that is not today for me. Today, I dive into the world my toes touch because God is here. I saw His heart in the little girl who helped pick up the fallen groceries of a lady in the store parking lot. I saw His compassion in the brother that seeks comfort in this distant place he is trying to call home. I saw His face in the friend that looked me in the eyes and said “It’s good to see you.” I see His grace in the patience that He is calling me to embrace. He is here.