Time Past


On this day, my lips tasted sweetness and heat through a lid slowly losing its shape. I found myself returning to a past-time to see if I had been wrong all along; no, it was indeed truth. The sunlight stared with deliberate concentration upon my stubble covered cheek bones and my eye lids then rolled up like car windows on rainy days. I lost my sight and fell backwards into familiar sounds that once led my context to a soothing ease. The hum of the refrigerator found a tempo to contrast the vehicles racing down an endless road of errands and schedules. I heard the most familiar of laughs that did fill the room with beauty and great volume. This laugh is my favorite and no matter how hard I may try to foolishly resist its prestige, it always stretches my lips to assemble the most simple smile.

The kind of smile you find when you see a father hold his newborn daughter in arms that were once tools of survival, but now have become a cradle of loving protection. The kind of smile you find when your best friend tells you in your simple south-side apartment, that he is about to ask the woman of his dreams to spend the rest of her life by his side. The kind of smile you find when you hold the hand of your father, as he rests in a cold hospital bed, while the heart that just gave up on him, now beats slowly. The kind of smile you find when your younger brother steps out of his comfort zone to drive to an unfamiliar place to spend time with you. The kind of smile you find when you see the strength of a close friend in his last days and the amount of uninhibited joy and gratitude he shows you, even though it is killing him. The kind of smile you find when a summer rain appears on your picnic and instead of running to the car, you run to the closest field to be saturated in renewal. The kind of smile that needs not an explanation or definition, as you can clearly see that all is as it should be; all is simply well.

To title this “Time Past” is weighted and heartfelt, but admittedly the days have since grown shorter. For the first time in a long time, I just sat with a smile and enjoyed this season. This season will be gone before I know it and I want to have remembered it correctly. I will no longer be able to drive a short distance to find such beauty and hear the joyous sound of her voice. I still wait patiently and as I wait, I indulge into the moments where my reality and dreams collide for a split second; when my dreams materialize and I feel the hopes of my slumber intertwine with the course of my journey. In those short moments, life is relieved of static and clarity is found in the eternity of her irises, so rich in worth. From then on, all I am able to find the strength to do, is to shape a smile to my tired face that is definitive and needing nothing more than that moment right there to exist.

All is simply well.

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